Life Verbatim

Revival

2010-08-15T13:01:00.003-05:00

Colorado River Gorge in Canyonlands National Park

I was seriously considering closing out this blog. Hard to say why exactly other than there is so much else going on that I begrudge even the little time it takes to jot a note here. Summertime in Minnesota is hectic because we all know it is short and the big chill is not that far away. Writing has also taken a hit but that will make a comeback this fall. Had a good start on continuing work on Volume 6 but then the first really good weather hit, and...well, fall is not that far away.

Also, after writing for a week or two this spring I became uneasy with the direction the story was going. Good writing but the wrong direction, or I should say perhaps not being true to the characters. Maybe they were chiding me. Anyway, I know where to go now.

Working

2010-06-16T08:01:00.003-05:00

Cape of Good Hope, South Africa, sign post

Nearly finished reading volume 6. On several occasions while editing I have had the thought, "Who wrote this?" So much has changed since five was written and six started, a lot of time has passed. Now, with the perspective of time, and having read through two volumes, I cannot avoid seeing that what I wrote is not what I ever would have said or thought about saying. That's another way of expressing how continually amazed I am at the differences between what we write and what we say. Who wrote those books? And not only five and six. All of them.What part of me wrote those books? I could expostulate on the circumstances of that time, but that would just be window dressing.

I know the books of this series will serve a purpose, for they are the stuff of life. Maybe I will find out who wrote them when work resumes on volume six.

Writing begins

2010-06-13T20:50:00.006-05:00

Second ballon caught in profile at dawn over Sussaflei in Namibia

I started back to work, my real work, about ten days ago. Don't know exactly how it happened, or what changed, but something has been building now for several months. A great unrest within. What a treat to sit back down and start picking up the threads of The Alarai Chronicles saga. Originally I planned to drop back to volume four, read through it, move on to five, and then to six where I left off nearly a year ago and where the writing will begin again, but instead started reading five.

That was the right thing to do since a major shift in the flow of the story begins in book five. Or maybe I should say that a major plot theme ends with volume four, ripping open the veil of confidence in what is thought to be reality.

Everything is changing, and I am glad. Soon the real work of writing will begin, and true satisfaction.

New Image

2010-05-22T19:15:00.005-05:00

South African Wine Country at Dusk (taken from the Seidelberg Winery)

I moved to Minnesota in 1997. Prior to that time while actively writing volumes I-III, I developed the habit of sketching scenes that I was trying to understand how to represent in words, or that just tugged at me. I had no particular drawing talent but managed to pencil a collection of images with the help of many erasers. After moving to Minnesota I picked up Photoshop and a pretty good scanner. The learning curve for Photoshop was tough but one by one I learned to add color to the sketches and smooth out many problems. Then disaster struck. My computer failed.

The computer would not boot no matter what I tried and no matter the advice from experts. Fortunately I had backed up the images to an external drive and once the computer was re-formatted reloaded the images only to find that a software glitch had corrupted every image.

Managed to reconstruct all of them except one. Couldn't even find what was left of it. I cannot begin to count the hours I had spent drawing in each tree individually and working to get the mountains just right. All I had left was one hard copy printed by an early Epson dot matrix.

To come to the point here, scanning it in I worked on it off and on for over five years to bring it back to even a semblance of the original. After this last effort I think it's there and is better than the original in many ways. It's called Bora Mountains in Winter and can be downloaded at ardentpublishing.com either as an HD Pdf or smaller jpg file.

The Alarai Chronicles series has been a labor of love and worth every hour. What a trip.

Summertime

2010-05-21T11:28:00.003-05:00

Dawn over the Namibian Desert

Can't say how it's going to turn out, but just for the fun of it I'm going to set up a booth at the Riverwalk Market Fair in Northfield on at least a couple of Saturdays. Nothing fancy, just a canopy, two or three BIG posters, and a nice display of volumes I and II, Exile to the Stars and Songs of Deep Green. It will be fun just to kick back and meet people. Might even sell a few books, but that's only part of the story. This is for fun. Should have some dates and place information to post in a few weeks. Hope you will drop by if possible.

Formatting

2010-05-20T11:27:00.002-05:00

Capetown South Africa at dusk

Recently, maybe over the last month or so, an unease has been steadily building. I find my thoughts drifting off into plot scenarios and dialogue streams. The other day it was a major digression from the task at hand to review images related to later volumes in the series. Is it about writing or, perhaps more accurately, getting ready to resume writing? Don't know. Maybe it's just Spring... Time will tell. Whatever the case, something is brewing and although this internal and growing sense of urgency is unsettling, I like it.

The frist review

2010-05-12T17:30:00.004-05:00

This was quick. I received the first review of Songs of Deep Green in the mail today. I like it!

Volume VI

2010-05-11T09:55:00.004-05:00

Cape of Good Hope, South Africa
Indian Ocean to your left, Atlantic Ocean to your right

Increasingly, my thoughts are turning back to Volume VI in The Alarai Chronicles series. I quit writing at about the mid-point well over a year ago now. I like the writing, I think it was some of my best, but I was losing my way. I'm sure it had to do with the way the first book was hanging fire as I wrestled with how to get the word out on a broad basis. I can't speak for other authors, but it's so hard for me to write creatively in a publishing vacuum. This is all about writing for people not an intellectual exercise.

Still haven't solved the publicity problem at this writing but I am convinced it will be solved before the end of the year. Things are about to break in favor of Songs of Deep Green, Exile to the Stars and thus the series - big-time. Now that gets the creative juices to flowing.

Namibia

2010-05-08T12:23:00.005-05:00

Namibia - Sussuflei National Park as seen at sunrise from a balloon

My son worked in South Africa for some time and had been urging me to travel with him in that area for several years. There was always something that prevented the trip until this year I ignored all the obstacles and simply did it. I mention the trip here (got back in April) because it was such a varied, spectacular, and moving experience. I know that life is different now, and I am changed - how can that not affect what springs from the mind and finds expression in writing?

Our travels took us through South Africa, south and north, Namibia, and Mozambique. I posted nearly 80 images on my Facebook wall (http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=100000529275197) and will also post a few here.

I am looking forward to the outcome when writing resumes on Volume VI in The Alarai Chronicles series.

Writing, writing

2010-02-23T18:30:00.002-06:00

It's tempting to take Vol III, THE DEVIL TAKE YOU to the typesetting level but that is really putting the cart too far out there in front of the horse. I do love writing and then putting it all together between two great covers. Nothing like it.

I edited Vol III here about two months ago during a slack period and will do so at least one or two more times before it is ready to go to typesetting. DEVIL completes the marine cycle and returns Jeff and Carl to Rugen where VOL IV, REQUIEM, begins. From sea to land and then?

It's coming.

In the mail

2010-02-18T19:24:00.001-06:00

Wonder of wonders the brochures did come as promised. That led to a mad scramble to put together all the review packages and get them in the mail. DONE! Well, except for one that I added on at the last minute, Publisher's Weekly. That will go out tomorrow.

Now it's time to catch my breath and consider the next moves. Sure wish the new website flash animation was up. Getting worried about that. Have to wait another week or two before pushing the "Let's get it done!" button.

Movement

2010-02-17T19:27:00.003-06:00

They finally came. The brochures finally arrived today and they are gorgeous. Now it's a matter of putting everything together and getting the review copies out. Review editors like four months to ponder things, but I'm short almost a month. Next push is to get the website updated and new material on the Home Page - that is, new flash animation. Looking forward to it.

This publishing experience, That of SONGS OF DEEP GREEN, is totally different from what I have experienced in the past with EXILE. This series is going to take off now and really fly. I guess you could ask why I am so confident, and I could tell you, but for now let's just say that I'm not going solo this time around. What a difference that makes!

Front Cover, SONGS OF DEEP GREEN

2010-02-16T12:49:00.003-06:00

Back in town

2010-02-16T12:31:00.002-06:00

Well, I tried to post more but wow, what a busy time! The first short print run of SONGS OF DEEP GREEN came, the cover is gorgeous, and now let the action and adventure begin. Working five hours a day in a split shift really cuts into the usable time to get organized, but I think tomorrow it will be possible to package and mail out the review copies.

This book is not only action and adventure at its best, but it is also science-fiction that you can sit down with and know its the real thing.

Going to upload the cover graphic today. Wish I could also upload the book's front material graphics, but that will have to come later. This story will really appeal to anyone who ever considered taking up sailing or already has the bug.

How do you navigate an ocean that must be as large as the Pacific without charts navigation tables or instruments? Over 3,000 miles to go and not a clue to what's out there, or back there for that matter, except the coast has to be off to the east somewhere.

Back soon.

Printing

2009-12-30T09:31:00.002-06:00

Things continue to move along nicely. The MS should be ready for the printer by the first or second week in January. I do have to make a decision about the cover art, but that's only a matter of deciding which presentation is best when both options are great.

Of course, no matter how many times one goes through a manuscript to correct errors, there will still be some left lurking about. Found a stylistic problem yesterday and corrected it. Problem is, you can only read through a document so many times before you go psychologically blind to the content. Thankfully, I am satisfied that not many errors remain.

What a day!

2009-12-19T19:42:00.004-06:00

Got it done today. It didn't start out that way, just thought I'd see what I might do to wrap things up with the manuscript and cover. Some hours later, maybe five or six, the MS is in PDF form ready for the printers, and so is the cover. You never know - every now and then it all comes together and the ability to simply see how to proceed and the mental set to get it done is there. And so it flows. Of course, then there are other days...

Still a lot of work to be done, the current manuscript PDF will likely not be the final document sent to the printer (although I think the cover is finished), but the setup is done, it works, and I have a printer lined up. All told, one BIG day.

Image

2009-12-18T10:24:00.004-06:00

Somehow the image I selected did not upload correctly. I'll try again.

Moving along

2009-12-18T10:16:00.004-06:00

Typesetting the manuscript is finished. Basically, typesetting is the process of making sure that the manuscript transfers smoothly from, say, MS Word where it was composed to InDesign where it will be prepared for printing and the addition of images and other effects. An important part of typesetting, to me, involves making sure that there are no widows or orphans and that the chapter breaks make sense and are clean and consistent with regard to font etc. chapter to chapter. The application does most of the work but you still have to go through the MS page by page because there are ALWAYS problems.

The final page count will be very close to 592. Here's a new image.

Happening Fast

2009-12-17T09:59:00.007-06:00

Just a quick note here. Most of my effort has recently been directed to preparing Songs of Deep Green for publication. At this time I am looking at a publication date of April or May of 2010. There is new information at our site www.ardentpublishing.com on Volume II and more to come. This is a seafaring adventure unlike any you've imagined. It's exciting!

Also, check out our new FaceBook presence at: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dale-B-Mattheis-Author-of-The-Alarai-Chronicles-series/195072465909

Volume II Update

2009-10-23T11:41:00.003-05:00

It has taken a long time to sort through publishing options for Volume II in The Alarai Chronicles series, VOYAGE TO ZOMAR (Songs of Deep Green). The first step, however, was simply deciding whether to publish or not. It required time and reflection to decide where my heart was. In the end it became clear that it was very important both to publish the books already written in the series and to finish writing those waiting attention. Here's why.

I am certain of very few things in this life, and certain of nothing that seems readily apparent. The quality of the books in this series, all of them, is one of those few things. I am certain that they have a contribution to make, if nothing more than a great read that, for a period, allows one to travel to a land where daily cares may slip away. And yet, there is much more here for those who wish to seek it.

The cover for VOYAGE is largely complete, the MS needs a final thorough edit, and then it's off to typesetting and printing. Publication date? Can't say for sure at this time, but I think not long after the turn of the year.

I plan to purchase software that will make editing my website quite easy so I can update the Home Page more often. Drop in from the time to time. I hope to post images as the publication date approaches and will ask my webmaster to do a major overhaul of the Index Page graphics.

Thanks to those who have emailed me about Volume II. That prodding served to get me off the mark along with input from a person I really respect.

Cheers!

What it means to be human - Part III

2009-07-13T14:56:00.005-05:00

In prior posts I've suggested on a number of occasions that humans, as a species, are substantially different in our origins and development than other species such as horses or dogs. I referred to humans as a hybrid species. I think that statement requires definition and clarification.

There are a number of aspects to how the term hybrid is used. The first listed definition in Webster's is the breeding of a male of one species or genus with the female of another species; a cross-bred animal or plant. Usually, however, the term cross-bred is reserved for the crossing of varieties of the same species while hybrid is used to define a mating of two different species. That is how I use the term hybrid when talking about human origins - the mating of (at least) two different species. That conclusion slowly grew over a number of decades. Problem is, of course, how do you prove something like that? At the current level of understanding of the human genome, the current state of the science of genetics, I don't think you can prove it through scientific methodology. And yet I am convinced. The question that keeps circulating in my mind is, "Why are humans necessary?"

For every environmental, ecological, niche whether in the sky above, the earth below or the seas beneath, there is some form of creature who inhabits it. Hundreds of thousands of species from the microscopic to the gigantic. And they all are purpose-driven and devised by the environment in which they originated. Designed from the ground up, cell by cell, over millions of years of evolution to fill that niche. Only a few such species can exist outside the original environment, whether it is an amoeba or a Blue Whale. What niche do we fill? What is the environment that we are designed to fill in a purpose-driven and holistic fashion. What is our species' existential gestalt? The specific environment we evolved in, and an environment that defines the boundaries of our continued existence (a tube worm living at the edge of a fumarole at the bottom of the ocean is an extreme example). Clearly, there no longer is one. Perhaps there never was such an environment. Humans are different from every other species in this regard. Drastically so.

What it means to be human - Part II

2009-07-08T16:09:00.008-05:00

In previous posts I've argued backwards, reverse engineered aspects of human mentation using computer structure and function as the basis for the argument. It is my belief and understanding that whatever humans produce, whatever technology we invent, reflects aspects of the human mind. Everything that we imagine and in some cases translate into saleable products preexists in the mind. In that sense there is little or nothing that is truly unique. We do not create out of thin air. The creative process or talent is often interpreted as doing just that, but that talent in whatever field actually reflects an enhanced ability to mine the mainframe for data or information that previously did not exist in the artist's mind. That ability is genetically endowed. Thus human behavior as a whole

Looking back, I am astonished at the extent to which thinking about human behavior has changed over the last three decades. When I was in college, it was thought, and trumpeted, that behavior patterns were almost entirely due to how we were raised, to nurture and not nature (our genetic endowment). Now, over the last 15 years or so, due in part to a number of identical twin studies, it has become clear that just the opposite is true - that the great majority of what we do, how we act (especially as perceived by others), and what we are is genetically derived. Certainly upbringing influences outcome, sometimes dramatically, but upbringing will not basically alter the fundemental ways we interact and function. Speech habits, educational pursuits, hobbies, cultural interests, who we date and marry - they are all heavily influenced by genetic endowment. To me, from what I have come to understand about human behavior, this has become established fact. About 80% nature, the rest nurture. The exciting thing about this conclusion, what I consider to be fact, is that it allows one to examine behavior with an eye to tracing behavioral ancestry. To examine why we are so different one from another, and yet so much the same.

What it means to be human - Part I

2009-07-03T14:35:00.005-05:00

Several days ago I posted on YouTube the second video in a planned series on my science fiction saga, The Alarai Chronicles. It was long overdue. The title is the same as this post. There is only so much you can communicate in a seven to ten minute video, and I want to elaborate on the subject here and in following posts.

What does it mean to be human? Is it such a broad and complicated topic that the effort to get my arms around it is hopeless? Perhaps in part, but I don't intend to attempt an exhaustive review. What I intend is a more focused examination on aspects of being human. Actually, given the breadth of the topic, I suspect this is what most writers do whether they admit it or not.

Even as I sit here at the keyboard contemplating the task, I am nearly overwhelmed. Just think about the diversity of the group of mammals we term human. The profound differences in size and physical appearance alone is amazing. And yet, as far as I am aware, successful breeding is possible and has occurred even at the extremes. Given that, it is not surprising that studies of the human genome reveal that we all, the entire human race, possess at least 99.9+% of the same genetic endowment.

And yet, something, somewhere along the tortuous path of our evolution forever set us apart from other species (and, I have come to believe, from one another as well in spheres other than the purely physical). Some would say the ability to reason sets us apart from other species. Others say it is our ability to speculate on the future or to attempt to manage our environment. And, of course, the sophistication of our verbal communication and being self-aware. Well thought out views, but, other than the last item, secondary to what interests me.

Actually. I find that some of the simplest creatures are quite good at reasoning, learn quickly, are flexible in approaching problems, and convey intent to their fellows in highly complex and succinct patterns. Crows are a good example, wolves are another. Both species are curious, intelligent, highly social, and communicate quite nicely. I've even seen squirrels solve complicated problems. Generally driven by the desire to fill their bellies, of course, but is that so different from the thrust of our own problem solving? So what about self-awareness?

We are all, we humans, aware, conscious, at some level from an early age that our life span is finite, and that at some point we are going to 'die'. The corollary is that, therefore, we exist. And then we cease to exist. Thus we pursue our lives with one mental eye firmly fixed on that statistically adjusted life span, leading to so many of the diseases and insanities peculiar to our race. Opinions of what lies beyond the curtain of physiologic termination are as varied and remarkable as the species itself, and well beyond the scope of this discussion. The existence of those opinions (whether in belief or disbelief) are critical, however, to our period of life and in some ways central to what I find pivotal in understanding what we are and where we have come from.

In writing Exile to the Stars, the issue of what we are as humans looms large and is threaded throughout the fabric of the book and series. Thing is, I really wasn't aware of that thread at the time of writing. That is a major clue to what defines us as human. However, This isn't about me it's about us. I want to start much farther back in time than my eye blink of an existence, or yours.

I won't be gone so long this time.

Underpinnings - 2

2009-02-23T10:32:00.006-06:00

Writing has such a powerful influence on patterns of thought or perhaps the mechanics of thinking. It is a rigorous discipline when pursued with dedication, one that demands forethought, precise expression (to be effective), and introspection. There is no escaping the fact that your work is staring back at you from a monitor or on a piece of paper. Writing a book also takes a certain amount of time, allowing for an evolution of thought as expressed in writing. And when you write a series over a period of years, the evolution of thought is also impacted by maturation and passage through life events. This was certainly the case in writing The Alarai Chronicles. Interestingly enough, however, it wasn't until a reader pointed out the true underpinnings of Exile to the Stars, the strong current of spiritual growth, that I took note. It was true.

While the first draft of Exile to the Stars was completed in about three months, at least 25 re-writes over a period of two years lay ahead. That's what it took - two years of gaining skill in writing, all the while drilling down into the heart and soul of the story until it lived and breathed. Until it had spirit and spiritual force. But I am no longer into bandying words or using convenient synonyms - the spirit of God permeates every volume in The Alarai Chronicles. That's about as unconventional or politically incorrect a statement as can be made about a science fiction series. You know, it's about science, about space and alien peoples, not about God! That's religion! What does God and religion have to do with science fiction?

Wow. Where to start? Honestly, I must admit to being put off by the idea myself at first. How had God managed to slip into the story? Stay tuned.

Underpinnings

2009-02-22T14:54:00.004-06:00

I've been pondering writing this for some time. I wasn't sure where to post it, but I decided to start with a note on the index page of my web site, ardentpublishing.com. continue with a longer post here, and finally post a companion video sometime in the next week or so. In short, it's time to really drill down and speak about the underpinnings of Exile to the Stars and the entire series

As stated in earlier posts, The Alarai Chronicles series encompasses the story of people, humans, struggling to survive first on an alien planet and then well beyond. The story is true to life as are the people both human and otherwise, but the series is much more than a great sci-fi story. That's what I really need to say here. While The Alarai Chronicles is an outstanding science fiction adventure series from any angle, it is also the story of inner growth beginning, as is the case so often, with a state of spiritual estrangement and profound inner loneliness generated while trying to succeed in a terran society that defines success in terms of secular values such as money and power. Just as emotional states such as joy and love will never yield to analytical inspection, only dissolve, so greed and power can never co-exist with spiritual growth.

And so, two men transported from Earth and its descent into secular debauchery start a journey of spiritual growth and the discovery of God on the planet Aketti. There is physical suffering and spiritual struggle in Exile and books that follow in the series, but great personal growth and reformation of life never occurs without these trials.

Certainly, the trials experienced by Jeff and Carl reflect my own conclusions about what it takes to grow in understanding of the true underpinnings of life: faith, love, honor, duty and fidelity. And yet, this is not the story of my personal growth, for Jeff, Carl, and many others in the series, are real and so must search out their own salvation. In doing so, they come to realize that their battles to overcome butchery and oppression on Aketti are only a small part of a universal struggle between good and evil that is being waged throughout creation and across the universe; the struggle between the forces of hell and the legions of heaven. This is the real story of Exile to the Stars and books that follow in the series. This is what has needed saying for some time. Viewing recent events on Earth, the march of evil around the globe, who would gainsay the larger battle?

Anyone who concludes from this post that Exile is preachy or moralistic doesn't understand what it takes to go on with life when the chips are down and survival itself is on the line. I'll leave moralistic nonsense to uninformed preachers and the average politician. This series is all about discovering the true power hidden in all of us.

The author

Context

2009-01-30T11:20:00.004-06:00

What is context? We hear it mentioned on frequent occasion, e.g. something, most often a written passage or work, is lacking context. This is a word, like so many, that is often bandied about but rarely defined or examined. Or, I think, understood.

Context is defined by my favorite dictionary as, "A joining together. The part of a discourse in which a word or passage occurs and which helps to explain the meaning of the word or passage."

Textual color, breadth of insight, background--analogs of context (among others), all of which are critical to creating the sense of reality, perhaps reality, of a good story. Of course context plays a critical role in all types of writing, not only fiction. Without context you have little more than boring verbiage.

As noted in prior posts, much of what we perceive and conceive is tied to sensory input in one form or the other. Thus color, depth, sound, motion, etc., all aspects to be considered in creating meaningful context. Note the word meaningful. Certainly none of us exist in a vacuum, nor can a character or characterization in writing. We fill out our understanding of one another over time by gathering background information about the person of interest. Context. And so it is in developing characters, character strength, in writing. So what is meaningful context?

Again, it is helpful to use the example of two people getting to know one another (for better or worse). We form a nearly instant instant impression of the other and then add depth of understanding by interacting with them over time. Most often those instant impressions prove accurate, if two dimensional. This is exactly what needs to take place in writing. One simply cannot load up the reader with a vast array of character or environmental attributes in the first paragraph after introducing a character. Give a first impression--you will whether you intend to or not--add a few teasers, and then proceed with the story using the plot, the interactions of the plot, to flesh out character. Where does the character hail from? What does he do? What are his personality traits? Use the plot, the dialog, the action scenes, the confrontations, etc. to develop character traits.

It is the interaction of the characters in a story, the breadth and color of their personalities as they interact, that give life to a story. Context is a form of weaving, or perhaps the skill of writing context is the author's ability to weave aspects of personality, scene, action and background together to form the tapestry that is context. A joining together.

Liabilities

2009-01-27T12:17:00.004-06:00

There have to be drawbacks to a serious and prolonged writing effort, right? What's that old saying about doing everything in moderation--act in excess and you will pay? Is it possible that writing day and night for months on end does not have a downside? A destructive element? I think that depends on what you might consider a downside.

As copiously noted in prior posts, intensive writing is life changing. A wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, children, etc. can participate or have input to a degree, certainly their lives do, but when you come right down to it, putting pen to paper cannot be shared. Writing is a solitary pursuit that no one else can really participate in.

That never really bothered me, for at the time I started to write I was truly on my own, had been beaten down pretty far, and welcomed the opportunity to find a better place to live. Yet even so, innate tendencies of solitary reflection that existed before the fall were accentuated. Had I been married or going with someone at the time, the long, long hours and weeks of writing might well have spelled trouble. It isn't just the hours. I suspect that a compelling story line can successfully compete with any human relationship. Perhaps addiction is too strong a word, for at closure it is something of a relief to see it done and to walk away for a spell. Yet writing, and especially writing from the heart and center of inspiration, is a truly fulfilling experience (as posted yesterday).

Yes, I think there is a downside. Or so I surmise. There has to be. Perhaps it's that I didn't see much sense in the daily expectations of life before starting to write, and now see even less. But that's not correct. I do see less importance in what is highly treasured by others, but now find treasure in the small things that illuminate life with true pleasure. Or should I say the things of true pleasure in life.

As suggested at the beginning of this post, I think the outcome of intensive writing on lifestyle might or might not have a downside depending on what a person takes to the writing experience and what they come away with. I don't think I need say more.

Benefits

2009-01-26T15:04:00.003-06:00

This is a good time to take a step sideways from rather involved topics and look at some of the benefits of writing. There are many.

It took a while to realize it, but after a few months of wracking my brain trying to get the story going it suddenly occurred to me that my memory had really improved. It wasn't all that bad to start, but memory recall time was much shorter and there was a fluidity to my thinking that had been long absent. Not only that, but it seemed that I was also evaluating conversations with a much keener ear. Mind you, writing, once you are deeply involved, can really affect sleep as well.

Again some months into writing Exile to the Stars, I began dreaming about the story. Scenes and dialog would come and go to the point that, at times, it was like a travelogue. I didn't always wake up rested, but what a wealth of new ideas. It was an exciting time.

Writing a novel, or should I say learning over time how to write, is a huge benefit when corresponding, writing essays, or putting together a resume. There can be drawbacks to that skill however. I once had a lady friend comment that my emails were too polished. Well, maybe. And, of course, writing changes your personality.

I've already commented on that huge factor in several posts but perhaps not directly. I don't think it possible that, if you become totally involved in creating characters and living with them, that you will not also be affected by what they become. If you diligently and honestly write their lives, you are also influencing your own, for the outcome of behaviors does not depend on years but on months. If, of course, you have indeed pursued honesty. What a disservice to your characters if you have not.

Conception

2009-01-25T12:19:00.008-06:00

As noted in yesterday's post, conception and perception share opposite sides of the same coin. While perception is closely tied to (but not entirely dependent on) sensory processing, the interpretation of input from eye, ear, nose, taste and olfactory sensors, conception is related to the minds ability to form ideas or to devise schemes or designs separate from such immediate input. In simpler terms, conception or creative thought is not dependent on cues from our immediate environment. The process of creation.

Writing, if nothing else, regardless of the genre, is in one way or the other creative. Certainly science fiction writing is truly creative since the whole thrust of a good sci-fi story is to escape the mundane and usual. Of course, such a story cannot entirely escape sensory input since our moment-to-moment life is intimately connected to our senses and thus to our memories and conclusions about ourselves in life. Still, I love writing in the speculative realm for whatever degree of freedom I can obtain from conclusions which, formed over time, are so often erroneous or incomplete. The infamous baggage we all carry around. Or, put another way, I love writing science fiction because it gives me the opportunity to escape myths of reality. Having been at this form of writing for over ten years now, I can say without hesitation that the effort to escape those myths through writing has permanently affected my view of the moment-to-moment world.

How hard it is to examine and update long-held beliefs, views, and conclusions; to come to see that so much of life is no more than a web of often flimsy rationalizations woven to support whatever position in life we have sought or come to reside in. It is a delightful irony that the process of examining myths posing as reality should have been stimulated by characters created, conceived, in the mind/imagination. A very interesting feedback loop.

An interesting spin-off of this feedback loop is the effect other acts of creation have on our being and understanding. For instance, the conception of a child. What effect, if any, does the substrate of conception, the physical and emotional background in the parents minds surrounding the physical act(s) of conception possibly have on the child so conceived? I don't know, nor does anyone (regardless of what is said), but I suspect there is input in one form or the other. And there is input regardless of the profession or undertaking.

It is absolutely true that, over time, we become what we do. One little step at a time. Our percepts and concepts mutually evolve as the demands or our work, and the concessions we make to advance, daily transform us. And somewhere along the way, in the absence of cognition, we pass a point of no return where self-appraisal becomes nothing more than self-serving tripe designed to maintain the status quo.

Just think of it! Day-by-day we create what we will become. I love it! Choice, decisions, concessions, compromise, rebellion, surrender, anger, aggression--all, and more, come into play forging personality and destiny. Especially choice. Writing, any difficult, demanding, creative act is wonderful, for it gives no rest and does not accept what we know as final.

Perception

2009-01-24T09:49:00.005-06:00

I want to get back to aspects of our thought processes that apply to writing and certainly to the basic nature of our daily existence and interaction with others. There is no more basic process or phenomena than that of perception. In fact, it may not be possible to do this concept (the other side of the percept coin) justice in writing or in any other modality. Still, like so many other people before, that won't stop me from trying.

In preparing for this post I pulled out my favorite dictionary, Websters New Collegiate Dictionary published in the 1950's. Largely untainted by contemporary political correctness, it more often than not addresses difficult words with a refreshing directness. Here are aspects of perception as defined by that dictionary:

Awareness of objects; consciousness.
a. Direct acquaintance with anything through the senses, or, b. the process of seeing or hearing.
An immediate or intuitive cognition or judgment, often implying nice observation or subtle discrimination. Also, the power of having or exercising such perceptions.

Just consider the implications of those three statements. Of course, the biggest 800 lb. gorilla is the term, cognition. That I will leave for another day, or three.

Our world, our existence, is largely defined by the personal awareness of objects around us as conveyed by our combined sense of sight, hearing, taste, touch, smell, and intuition. I say personal, for it has become abundantly clear over the years that none of us apprehend the world in exactly the same way as any other person. In our combined perception of the world, therefore, we are, all of us, truly unique. While uniqueness is highly prized, it isn't hard to take that concept one step farther and conclude that we are all in the truest sense, aliens. In the truest sense, we can never fully understand another person's view of the world. But I don't want to wander off into the foggier aspects of cognition. Let's just leave that sleeping dog lie for now with the parting shot: How can life ever be boring?

In writing, we call on our archive of perceptions, combine them with conclusions regarding the nature and course of life, massage that concoction with imagination, call on our brain to do something with it, and at some point begin typing. And so perception takes on an alternate reality as a part of the process of creation. That's what I truly enjoy about writing science fiction--perception is not limited to that which is observed or intuited from our object world. In my case, what appears to Jeff and Carl on Aketti as object reality based on terran experance is not necessarily that at all.

What I'm getting at here is that our expectations of reality based on experience often, perhaps far too often, alter the actual perceptual field open to us and thus to one degree or another impoverish our cognitive lives. What would life be like if we could simply accept what we sense without editing those perceptions with our expectations based on experience? It would be phenomenal!

This is another word that I love. The best and simplist defintion I have found for phenomena is, "The thing as it is." How beautiful. Simply accepting something as it is. Just that, no more. Looking at it, perceiving it, intuiting it, as it is without further interpretation or editing. What better way to write science fiction than in this state of mind. You might ask, "How, then, can things be different on a new world if we accept everything we sense? How can they not be if we examine what we perceive here on Earth as phenomena. Actually, who needs to go to a different world to find new beauty and inspiration? Well, I do. It's too much fun.

Does Anyone in Publishing Know Anything?

2009-01-11T15:37:00.006-06:00

I must say that most of the agents I initially queried replied, and five or six of them were encouraging. However, in one way or the other, they all said the same thing: make the changes I suggest and you might succeed. Thing was, they all had different takes on what I should do. As the replies came in, I took the first ones at face value and set to work. The opening was too slow with too much identification of characters? Fine. Slam the first chapter with an action scene and go slow with outlining characters. The story is too long? Fine. Cut it down from 180,000 words to 90,000 words. And so on. Within a month or two the manuscript was a complete disaster. A torn-apart rag of a story.

Eventually sitting back to take stock, and reviewing many agent replies, it became clear that these folks didn't know anymore about writing then I did. One would say my writing lacked style but showed good character development. Another would say the style was great but the writing lacked grace (?). What emerged was the sense that each agent was responding according to his or her personal preferences in reading and thus expectations of an MS, rather than according to some overall standard of writing. There is no overall standard of writing to grade manuscripts by. There are standards of punctuation (within a rather broad contemporary range), of spelling, of sentence construction, and so on, but not of writing as such. Maybe that conclusion seems apparent, but it wasn't to me and I suspect many other new writers. No, writing at it's best is an amalgam of the hard-learned mechanics of writing and the plot/character inspiration that derives from somewhere within the spirit.

Viewing the smoking ruin of my story, I filed away all the agent letters and set back to work. That took place before I corresponded with David Brin, and about the time I began to write with some verve and confidence. What a relief to understand that agents really didn't know anymore than I did. In their defense, a few of them said so--they said history had shown that agents and publishers were no better at picking a winner than the average Joe on the street. So how is a guy supposed to know? You aren't. You write what you need to write.

Good Writing

2009-01-09T10:14:00.004-06:00

Recognizing that many aspects of my writing were substandard was not an easy pill to swallow. It wasn't so much the comments received from submitted pages, they were generally so contradictory from agent to agent as to be laughable, but a gradual dawning. One agent did point out the extreme overuse of exclamation points, a sign of a very green writer. No, I think it must have been the constant revisiting of the first three manuscripts in the series that did it. Life was pretty dismal at that point, and I spent as much time as possible on Aketti to compensate. Coming back to an MS after a period away can be sobering. The euphoria of composition is diminished and a certain objectivity returns.

As noted in yesterday's post I never doubted the quality of the story, I knew it was superb, but how I presented that story did cause some cringing. It was about this time that I sent out a number of letters to mainstream science fiction authors in the hope of gaining some insight and possibly a blurb or two. I received two replies that were quite helpful. One was from Greg Bear who was tied up in his own project but still took time to say he thought the MS had promise. The second and most helpful letter came from David Brin. He made some very helpful suggestions about paragraph length and being careful not to have two characters speaking in the same paragraph. We exchanged several letters and that started a massive rewrite binge. I can tell you it wasn't only the helpful hints, but just the fact that an author that I admired took the time to correspond.

Here are a few items I picked up and refined over time:

One voice per paragraph.
Keep paragraphs short - long paragraphs can overwhelm a reader. It is especially important to control paragraph length during action scenes: short paragraphs and short sentences. Narrative is a different animal. At times you may need to lengthen both sentences and paragraphs, but only by considered intent not poetic happenstance.
Do NOT overuse exclamation points. Express intensity by the context of your writing. Recall that I mentioned the importance of what you write outside quotation marks. That's context. I suspect that one could write a book without a single quotation mark, but one now and then is fine.
Do NOT give your characters extensive powers right off and then spend the rest of the story having to defeat them. You know, if someone has such power he just waves his hand and it's all over in the first chapter. Series like that just flat turn me off. Build slowly. Reveal your characters over time. Keep the reader in suspense. This is one bullet I dodged from the start.

The list is long, but the ones above are a few of the most important. So there I was on my back at 30,000 feet with Zero's coming out of the sun...no, no, there I was madly editing three manuscripts in series. While making changes, I couldn't help but recall some of the comments and suggestions I received from agents and similar ilk early on. I mentioned they were contradictory, but at first I didn't realize that.

The Trip East

2009-01-08T11:11:00.003-06:00

In the Nov 30th post I commented on the changes to Bainbridge Island, where I lived for over 20 years, and concluded with my decision to leave. As noted, I did so without regret and left nothing behind worth worrying about. Having sold everything in my possession except a few essentials crammed into the back of an ancient pickup, it was off to Minnesota via the northern route. It wasn't an easy trip.

That old '73 Dodge was pushing 200,000 miles and loaded to the stops. Sagging along across mountain passes and up onto the central plateau, I figured there was a good chance it would never make the Midwest. It was August, quite hot in Wyoming, and as I started the climb up onto the plateau, the oil pressure dropped toward zero. Still, it kept on running. Considering options if it did die, I decided to set up shop wherever it rolled to a stop and make a life of it. It was good to be free. But that truck ran without a hitch all the way. Funny thing. It had screwed me royally on a few attempts at vacation jaunts, but whenever the chips were down it never failed. And so we arrived in Minnesota.

Starting over is no fun, and I will confirm that starting over for the third time is even less fun. Setting up the 386 in my sister's home, I continued to work on editing Exile and follow-on books in the series while searching for an agent and also searching for a job. Neither prospect was encouraging.

In 1996 it was still technically feasible to find an agent who would represent your work to a publisher. Nevertheless, I didn't find one until one night I received a call from an agent in Minneapolis. The only good thing that came out of that contact was the encouragement to continue. It turned out she only represented herself as an agent while not even knowing the basics of how to approach a publisher. The usual promises and fees, but nothing more. Yet, the greater the disappointments the more time I devoted to writing and editing. I truly came to love Aketti and its peoples. Escapist? You bet. As noted in an earlier post, I spiritually took up residence there.

Signing up with a temp agency to take whatever work they had, I was eventually able to set up in an apartment and continued the search for some way to gain the attention of a publisher. Only gradually, after the usual tall stack of rejection slips, did I come to realize there were huge problems with my manuscript. Not with the story, but with the writing.

Intermission

2009-01-06T10:12:00.004-06:00

I just reviewed the last post, and like it. Sometimes that isn't the case. Sort of like writing books, but in that modality the text is not published until edited over a period. One hopes.

Although I had also hoped to post daily, I don't think that is going to happen on a regular basis. In order to make ends meet, I drive a school bus morning and afternoon. That leaves three or four hours in between, but getting up at 0530 just doesn't get it for me, and I arrive home thinking more of bed than composing. Weekends should be better.

I should clear one thing up right off, though. I started driving a school bus just for the paycheck, but that was over three years ago. Now, I find driving a school bus one of the best jobs I have ever had. It would be a lost cause to attempt to convey all that I have learned from those K-12 students. Talk about creativity!

Got some stuff brewing in the back of my mind about the last post. Back soon.

Talent (Continued)

2009-01-02T09:49:00.003-06:00

I've been mulling yesterdays' post, and find it necessary to expand the concept of CNS co-processors (or software) that was outlined. As stated there, I view this concept, and all it implies, as of great importance, for co-processors are only the tip of the iceberg when exploring computer technology as a structural analog of our own mental functioning. However, it's critical to understand that no one ever has and no one ever will write the definitive lexicon of the function of any aspect of our mental or spiritual life. Therefore, I do not imply that if one does not have a clearly defined co-processor/talent that it is pointless to pursue that interest. History is rife with examples to the contrary. Why is that? Let me start with my own decision to attend medical school.

At some level I knew from the start that while I qualified academically to attend medical school I was not suited to that discipline. It was not a compelling interest, nor did I feel any special affinity for it. A number of courses such as physiology, lab sciences and so on were fascinating, but the overall discipline/profession of medicine did not resonate with what I was. Still, I stuck it out and practiced for a number of years both as a general physician and later as a psychiatrist. So, what's the point here?

The point is that the study and practice of medicine revolutionized my view and practice...of life. NOT as I was taught in school and residency--I never really became a physician in the truest sense--but as I EXPERIENCED the effects of dealing with people within those professions employing my true mindset, that of a wanderer in search of the domain of humanity. There was no going back to what I might have been absent the medical experience. Now I would never wish to go back, for the medical period of my life, in spite of its disappointments and frustrations, added tremendous depth and color to what I have become. Do you see the point I am making here? To one degree or another, we all see life darkly and especially when in our youth although paradoxically it is often just then that we are totally convinced or life's clarity of purpose. So we learn and are run or processed through life's crucible.

Referring back to yesterday's post again, recall that I stressed that although one might not have great music memory, hand coordination, etc., if music of whatever nature is in the heart and must be expressed to preserve the spirit then it should be pursued with all diligence until it bursts out in full flower. If you wish to sing but have no voice, then search out instrumental outlets. If that is not yours, then write music or about music. If you must, you must. Life is not easy. It wasn't meant to be. But we are all blessed with one type of co-processor or the other. None of us have been excluded or passed by.

Talent Co-Processors

2009-01-01T10:10:00.009-06:00

Here's how I look at talent. Back in the early days of computers, CPU's were pretty basic. When I purchased my IBM 386 in '93 I really wanted some mathematical capability, but could not afford to purchase a unit with a math co-processor installed. Without that co-processor, no calculations were possible. That's sort of like me. I don't have a co-processor that smooths the comprehension of the symbolic language known as mathematics. Even if I hammer away at the logic for hours and hours, the gains are very small. I do not have that talent. That really doesn't bother me, but how I envy those who have a talent for music. Musical memory, tone competence, eye-mind-finger coordination, and the ability to visualize and recall notes in the setting of a composition, not to mention vocal ability. Another, very broad, talent. One of many.

It is usually assumed that we are born with these talents and cannot attain them by effort. Largely I agree with this, although there are exceptions and variations on a talent that will never find expression without hard work, long hours, and at times bitter frustration. I'm thinking here, for example, of the person with music in his soul but little physical talent or ability to express it. Then there are talents frustrated by physical limitations such as the five-ten man with a real talent for basketball. So, what about writing?

Writing is a plethoric talent, a huge wandering stream that enters many bayous, seeps into blind canyons, and pours over roaring waterfalls. One could say that the only standard that defines great writing is the bottom line - book sales. Baloney. Not in our present world. Problem is, how do you define writing? Fiction? Non-fiction? Scientific writing? What? They are all different, and in some cases dramatically so. I think the closest I can come to a definition is the ability to clearly communicate an idea, concept, thought or construct in written form.

Finally, one man's Pulitzer is another man's dumpster darling. Having been writing now for well over a decade, I can no longer bear to read some books that are big sellers. To me the writing is so bad that the story is lost. Yet they are big sellers. In some cases it's not just about a great writing co-processor at all, but about a different ability that senses public appetites and responds with whatever is demanded. Writing skill is secondary. Turn and burn. Yuck. Gosh, did I just show partiality? Yep.

Later!

Processors

2008-12-31T15:12:00.002-06:00

It has become abundantly clear over the years that measures of "intelligence" are worthless. Yes, you can test abstracting ability, mathematical prowess, the ability to manipulate symbols, etc., but what on earth, when looked at in summary, does all that mean? Certainly intelligence testing in the past was too often no more than an elitist tool used to sort out who would be allowed to seek further education and who would not. Now SAT scores serve the same function. While there is no doubt that testing might well evaluate basic skills and readiness to proceed with what is, today, laughably, termed higher education, to often these scores are, again, no more than an elitist tool to thin out the population of those graduating from HS and applying to colleges. Here's a modification to testing that would prove useful - eliminate time restrictions. Take as long as you like on each section of the test. All processors do not operated at the same speed.

Gradually, I have come to realize that computer modeling represents an unconscious emulation of the function of our own brain. I do not believe, in fact, that we as humans are capable at all of what is loosely termed creative or innovative thought. The thoughts might be creative in light of what is currently understood, and innovative in production of useful tools, but all such thoughts derive from a common pool of knowledge that has been present for eons. Never has a statement been more true: there is nothing new under the sun. Everything we imagine is revealed from that common pool. Thing is, some folks are better at taping that pool than others. And education becomes (or should become) the study of tools that facilitate access to that gigantic pool of, for want of a better term, knowledge. There's the rub. Gaining language skills whether they be spoken, written or symbolic (e.g. mathematical symbols). Everything we learn during our education is a form of language skill. That's where processor speed comes in.

Does it matter if you can solve a problem in five minutes or fifty? Does it make you slow or dumb if it is the latter? If comprehension is primarily a function of processor speed, which I believe it is, what on earth does that have to do with basic potential or "intelligence"? I understand that in some business applications, speed is of the essence, but that still has nothing to do with basic ability. How many lives and dreams have been dashed because they were thought dumb? Potential scientists, musicians, scholars of any ilk - you name it.

So here I am viewing human function through a process of backward engineering, utilizing what I understand of computer function. In medical school I was constantly confronted with students whose processors were just an awful lot faster than mine. Still, the outcome was the same since I simply had to spend more time studying to arrive at the same spot. Now I understand there is much more to styles of cognitive thought than processor speed. It's called talent. But more on that later.

Catching Up

2008-12-08T11:19:00.004-06:00

I've missed about three days of writing now due to a family emergency, and I really feel it. Writing is my lifeblood, and without it creativity in all fields seems to dry up. It's also true, I think, that creativity dries up or is at least strongly influenced by such stressful situations. That has been the case here. Life crises soak up so much of a person's time and energy that little is left over for creation. Processing power just isn't there for the time being. Which thought leads me to what I have been wanting to write about for some time.

As on prior occasion, I am struck by the many similarities between computer function and human psychological/neurological function. That, I have come to believe, is no chance occurrence. Starting with my next entry, I'm going to look at that remarkable state of affairs. Today I am still in recovery. Cheers.

Follow on

2008-12-03T12:05:00.003-06:00

I've mentioned the importance of setting aside time dedicated to nothing but writing, and the need of sitting there in front of the keyboard for the allotted time even though you may not type a single word. That is critical. Here's a few more thoughts on that subject.

Even though you may not type a single word during that three or four hour period set aside for writing, the time is not wasted. It might happen that you are disgusted with the lack of production only to get hit with a storm of ideas sometime later that day. The gestation period for ideas sometimes is not in sync with your daily routine. Of course, there are also days when you have to run to the computer because there is such a backlog of ideas demanding expression. And sitting in front of that blank wall or the equivalent of it is also important because you do not want anything to distract your concentration. It's also really handy to have a notepad handy for those occasions when you can't get to the computer. Many inspired ideas have slipped away because I did not have writing materials at hand. Often, a good idea or inspiration is like a dream. It hits like a rocket, you sit up in bed with a start, and then it quickly fades away even as you try and grasp it.

Writer's Block

2008-12-02T09:41:00.011-06:00

If nothing else, sitting in front of a computer monitor staring blankly at the keyboard for several hours at a time is an exercise in self discipline. The pain of creation, already noted, is keen. There were times when it was all I could do to stay seated and struggle with what to write. Some times I gave up and went for a long walk or something, anything, to get away for a while. Some people might be inclined to call this type of experience writer's block, but it's not. In fact, it's rare to hear anyone even mention writer's block these days thanks to the word processor.

It was a different matter in the age of the typewriter. It's been said that writer's block even then really had little to do with written word per se, but had everything to do with having to get it right before hitting a single key. It was a form of mental paralysis because the writer did not have a completely formed sentence(s) in mind to type. I am only a mediocre typist, and can well imagine the agony that would result when you realized that the last two or three sentences were wrong and had to go. There was no erasing those sentences by hitting the backspace key. No, it was either rip out the sheet of paper and start over or pick up the eraser. It's understandable that most manuscripts were first written longhand. At least you could scratch things out and make notes in the margins. So, basically, writer's block is largely an historical footnote.

I realize that some, perhaps many, people might disagree. And I think it possible that at some points in a manuscript, a conflict of ideas, emotions, or intent might bring the creative process to a screeching halt. However, those are issues of a specific nature that can be dealt with as one does with any conflict in life. Depending, of course, on how the individual happens to deal with conflict!

No, I think what most people these days call writer's block is directly related to impatience. Certainly, when I first started writing impatience was a constant companion. Only now, some years later, have I gained a real appreciation for the process of creation that precedes the first keystroke, and for the concept of patience. They are related, immense topics cloaked in uncertainty, obscurity, and frank darkness; in aspects of thought itself that are not accessible to the consciously directed mind. If not definitive justice, at least I will do what justice I might to these topics in this post and posts to follow as they might. Even while writing this, my mind is balking at the task of finding the right words. Of course they aren't there until they are.

What I eventually came to realize years after starting to write, was that the process of creation exists in a part of my mind that I have no direct access to or dominion over. Creation serves at its pleasure and leisure. Upon placing a request, more often than not I receive an answer. Sooner or later. Enter patience. And yet, sometimes wonderful ideas outside experience or imagination flow without interruption for hours or days at a time. Okay, I've already talked a bit about this. During those wonderful periods, the conscious Me serves only as a mediator between the source of creation and the words that appear on the monitor as I type. In the best of times, then, one departs sensory reality to live in that part of the mind where creativity exists. You go to it, it does not come to you. And so I went to live on Aketti and breathed the purest of air high in the Bora Mountains. There I met giants of old and creatures of renown.

Whimsical? No. You have to experience it. As I said, though, I'll come back to this topic off and on. Patience is the key to revelation, and patience is the child of humility.

Continuing The thought

2008-11-30T11:53:00.006-06:00

As intimated previously, the first few weeks of writing were really hard. There were so many details that needed to be worked out. What did I need to learn about Jeff and Carl? What was it like in Seattle in the year 2025? What kind of first chapter should I write - solely an attention grabber, long on description, what?

There were many more questions, of course, but getting the important details straight from the start was number one. That meant gaining insight into what Seattle might well be like in 2025. That in turn would strongly influence Jeff and Carl's way of life and conclusions about life. I had lived in and around Seattle for over 20 years at that time and had watched it evolve over that period from a clean, bustling, true Emerald City into a wannabe San Francisco North where the pursuit of wealth and prestige were at the root of all activity. The old shack of a mobile home that I mentioned in an earlier post was located on Bainbridge Island west across Puget Sound from Seattle. The same evolutionary process took place there, except in spades.

Arriving on Bainbridge in 1974, by the time I left in 1996 the dreamy, quiet island of long-time residents of modest means and people in search of quietude had become a haven for people fleeing California, and others from Seattle itself now willing to put up with the 25 minute commute by ferry. The money came with them. By the time I left, multimillion dollar homes were being constructed in every ravine and on every available piece of property. Land values skyrocketed. Many residents of modest means and retired folks were forced out by high real estate taxes, bringing in more money. I had seen the entire process from beginning to near the end, and it was ugly. But there was more to it than that. I had also seen the island change as one, first of good income as a psychiatrist and then finally as a scraping along the bottom writer. The effect was profound and strongly affected my vision of Seattle in the year 2025.

Still, as I began to flesh out Seattle in that advanced year, my view also encompassed the same or similar processes in other large metropolitan areas. Certainly the changes noted were not unique to Seattle, it was just that I loved the Seattle that was lost. What resulted was a dark vision strongly influenced by the substance of evolutionary experience.

In order to avoid later confusion, I need to set out a writing time line here. I started writing in the spring of 1994, shortly after shutting down Home Baking Company. And although I mention the old mobile home, I actually started to write in a much nicer home I owned on the other side of the island. Some months later I lost that home and moved to the trailer. I was behind on taxes and trying to sell when someone got whiff of it and bought my home out from under me for the taxes. As you can imagine, that experience also influenced my view of Bainbridge and Seattle.

Looking back, I still feel the strong emotion of those times and understand more fully the reasons, good reasons, for leaving Bainbridge, Seattle, and planet Earth. So the move to the trailer was necessary, for that's where the real writing took place, but when I caught my final ferry off Bainbridge Island some months later on the way to Minnesota, I did shake the dust off my feet and departed with no regrets.

Life Verbatim - Chapter 3

2008-11-29T09:33:00.007-06:00

Backing up a step for the moment, I've been reflecting on those first weeks after sitting down to write a book. Robert Heinlein said on a number of occasions that there was no other way for him to write than to march into his office, sit down facing a blank wall, and stay there for four hours. I recalled that and did likewise. I remember quite clearly how difficult it was - just sitting there trying to get something going. But what? What to write. It wasn't as if I had no idea where to start.

Some writers, regardless of the task, create an outline of greater or lesser complexity and follow it. I resisted that. It was too much like everything else I had been doing for the last 25 years. Too scheduled. Instead, finally, I settled on sketching out two characters and placed them at the University of Washington in the year 2025. Now, sitting restlessly at the keyboard, the question was: what's the story? In the process of answering that question I discovered the real work of writing. At that point it wasn't simply a matter of saying to heck with it and just barfing something onto the page. I knew that the opening scenes and first few chapters of the book would dictate plot elements I would have to live with for perhaps the entire novel. Certainly, plenty of examples came to mind where authors had to scramble around to make sense of the plot. It wasn't pretty and quite distracting.

I can't remember how many hours passed, how many sessions passed, before I was able to type the first sentence of the first paragraph of my first novel. That's the work of writing for me. It is, quite literally, painful. It hurt as I flogged my mind demanding that it come up with something. Anything that makes sense! And eventually it did. There it was. The first scene.

It's easier now, for I acknowledge the need for patience and understand more about the magic of creative writing. It is not the creature of conscious will, but the offspring of some land where the spirit of what I am and believe to be true resides. That spirit will not be dictated to but responds to patient expectation. In that sense, when fully involved in writing fiction one is also fully involved with that elusive inner being. It's no wonder, then, that it wasn't long into writing EXILE TO THE STARS before I departed Earth to roam Aketti.

Starting to Write - Part 2

2008-11-25T11:21:00.010-06:00

It isn't that writing within quotations is that difficult. Complicated at times, yes, difficult, no. Like anything else, it's a matter of practice and sweat equity. As far as the mechanics go, I've found the Chicago Manual of Style to be an excellent source of information on just about any question having to do with punctuation. The challenge in writing dialog is making it come to life so that a conversation conveys the same impact as in the "real" world. The answer to this challenge is not found within quotation marks alone or even largely, but in the gestalt of writing. That is to say, the entire thought sequence or scene that the "speaking" part of the dialog is a part of.

If the goal is to replicate real life conversation in composition, then we must include other aspects of conversation to get the full effect. It is critical to include motion, gesture, expression and posture. I do not believe it is possible to have a real life conversation without these aspects of communication playing a major if not controlling role in conveying intent. And that means working outside quotation marks just as effectively as within. That's where the grace notes are, the warmth and color. For example, here's a short sequence from the first chapter of Exile to the Stars (HTML formatting restricts some styling):

Someone yanked a chair from his table and Jeff turned quickly to see who it was. The dils had not gone quietly into the night.
"Damn it, Carl, give me some warning! Where have you been?"
Blond hair fell over Carl's eyes when he sat down. He flicked it away with an impatient twitch of his head.
"Hell of a time getting here. Damn near civil war out there. Cops had two blocks sealed off just south of here. What you so uptight about?"
"Paddy told me Gado's scouting."
"It figures," Carl replied with a grimace. "Friday night and that bastard will wait until some poor slob is drunk on his ass trying to unwind." He glanced at the litter of broken glass. "Getting an early start, I see."

Now it must be noted that narrative plays a huge part in setting up dialog, and I haven't included narrative (as such) in the quote above. I hope to examine that aspect of writing in a later post. However, in only a few sentences one still gets a sense of Carl's personality from his body language. That's a strong element in the gestalt of writing. It isn't just dialog or narrative, but the whole milieu of writing that creates the image of life and reality, drawing the readier into the story and a different reality. Actually, writing in this manner becomes second nature once your characters take on life during those really tough first chapters devoted to getting the ball rolling. They do have personalities, and just like us tend to express themselves in familiar ways. As real personalities, how else could they express themselves? For instance:

"Tell you what, Jeff," Carl observed with a big grin, "I think Bugwit is going to have his hands full tonight. I mean, how is he going to impress everyone at the same time? This is going to be fun."
"For sure, and maybe this is the ngiht he'll shut up about that fellowship of his in Warsaw."
Carl halted abruptly and looked at Jeff with mock horror.
"Are you questioning his pilgrimage to the mecca? Tell me it isn't true! Why, everyone knows that makes him the resident sabrer expert."
"Well, it's a dirty job," Jeff said with an appreciative snicker. "I guess it does take a dickhead like Hathwaite to fill the slot."

It's impossible for Carl to be anything but what he is: irrepressible. Before signing off, let me emphasize that there are as many ways to express a thought or create a reality as there are authors. Some styles work, some don't. The above quotes are only brief snippets meant to illustrate a point.

Digression - starting to write

2008-11-21T09:36:00.000-06:00

I think this is a good spot to step out of the main stream of thought for a moment and take a look at what it took for me to start writing. There may be some general lessons here, but that's for you to decide.

First of all, I had to STOP. That was the hardest part. Just stop. Stop the day-to-day anxiety-filled mad scramble to survive; to fight the world in order to survive. That took some doing, and it was only when desperation gave way to rejection, to a screw-the-world attitude, that I was finally able to find the peace of mind to sit down and contemplate the computer monitor. It was time to create, to actually do something positive. First problem. I mean, you have to have something to write about, don't you?

It may sound unnecessary to even mention, but you really must have something to write about. What I mean by that is something that fans the fire smoldering in your belly to full flame. Something that touches your heart and inspires your mind. Yes, there are many excellent professional writers in many fields who compose every day without that condition, but that's not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about top-notch fiction. For me, as I've commented on elsewhere in videos, it was the 25 years that had gone before; it was the utter, angry rejection of all the dishonest, malicious, cheating, penurious, treacherous, lying interactions of the prior 25 years. And for all of that time I knew in my heart it wasn't meant to be that way, but did not have what it took to stop fighting, or perhaps the maturity necessary to step aside and say bullshit to it all. That was and is my fire. That fire led me to Aketti and peoples I love. Now, how on earth do you put all of this into words?

The process of writing may seem simple, but believe me it is not. I am not even going to attempt to get around such a subject in one posting, but will likely nibble at the topic as we go along. Today, let's look at the first paragraph of a book (or paper, essay, etc.).

Okay, you have some idea of what you want to say. I'm not one for outlining, so I finally settled on building the story chapter by chapter around Jeff Friedrick and his best friend, Carl Jorgenson. I didn't want to know what was going to happen any farther ahead than that. Now, one could call Jeff and Carl characters in the story, but they're not - they're as real as I am. You see where I'm going with this? The fire in the belly? Really letting heart and mind become involved in what you have to say becomes reality. So, the fire is lighted and ideas are flooding out to fingers hovering over the keyboard. At this point I suddenly realized that I had no idea how to write dialog, or narrative for that matter.

Going to stop here for the time or this post is really going to get out of hand. I'll continue this thread in the next post before wandering back to the main stream again.

Life Verbatim - Chapter 2

2008-11-17T11:11:00.000-06:00

After scratching out an existence and fighting to survive for thirteen years, it was no easy matter giving up. Leaving psychiatry and medicine had been more than difficult, but being forced to shut down Home Baking Company was several notches above that on the destructive scale. Gradually, after closing the doors, all worldly possessions disappeared one by one, lost to an inevitable financial process that finally took my home as well. The only place available that I could afford was a very old mobile home, and that's where I moved what remained of my past life.

That mobile home must have been 50 years old. Musty with mold, bedrooms slanted and the size of a closet, the old shack was infested with mice. It was springtime, and I used to wake up early in the morning to the sound of rodents fighting in the bathroom. Still, that old mobile had a wonderful double-wide living room with a decrepit wood-burning stove that made up for a lot. Setting up the 386 computer in one of the closet bedrooms, wondering how I would survive month to month (still with one kid at home), I sat down to see what would come of it. And that's how it all started, fourteen years ago at the age of 55.

The place was quiet, my son was in school, and the world gradually faded away over a several month period as my ability to write dialog and narrative improved to the point that emotions, ideas, and life as I had experienced it could be freely expressed through the keyboard. During that period, I'm not sure when exactly, I left a world that was not mine and discovered one that was.

New Video

2008-11-16T12:00:00.000-06:00

Here's that link to the YouTube video mentioned in the post below. It's also posted in the panel on the left. Back soon.

Life Verbatim - The Beginning

2008-11-15T14:38:00.000-06:00

Welcome to Life Verbatim: Expressing thoughts in writing about life as I have experienced it, and what I have come to understand about the nature of writing itself. I will admit to being a bit overwhelmed at the moment, considering the nature and breadth of the task, so what I intend to do is start with some background information about who I am, where I have been, and what I have written. We'll see where it goes from there.

Before I really get into this, I'm going to link to my website, Ardent Publishing, so you can look it over for yourself. In the near future I will be adding a second link to a companion video on YouTube. They will both be permanently listed in the sidebar as well.

There was a time in my undergraduate life when I dreamed about writing as a way of life. That was a time and place, however, when college was a place you attended to learn a profession, and it was quite common to graduate in four years with the tools to do so. Writing for a living was no more than a pipe dream, and like a puff of smoke that dream was swallowed up by the drive to "succeed". And so I did, quotation marks included.

In order to make it through medical school I signed up for the Navy Senior Medical Student Program and upon graduation headed for Long Island and a Navy internship. This was during the height of the Vietnam War. The St. Albans Naval Hospital (now closed) was an evacuation destination for wounded soldiers. In spite of knowing one never volunteers for anything in the military, I agreed to serve on the dirty wound ward for one rotation and will never forget that experience. Nor will I ever regret it. There I experienced, for the first time, truly, Life and Death Verbatim. True honor and quiet courage of a remarkable nature among those young men so torn apart and some, dying. I learned something about writing there.

Considering that experience, it would seem natural to avoid volunteering again. Still, the Submarine Service seemed so interesting... Going regular Navy I was soon attending Submarine Medical School in New London, CT, and six months later was assigned to the USS John Marshal, SSBN 611. Assigned as medical officer to the Gold Crew (two crews to each submarine so it could operate year around), I was approached by my opposite number on the Blue Crew who wanted to swap places. I didn't know the guy very well, or know that he was a smooth-talking slime ball, and decided to accomodate him. Turns out he had checked out the CO's and discovered the Blue Crew captain was a total jerk. Two years and two patrols later I emerged from active submarine service shaken to the core from a survival experience with a CO who was determined to destroy every officer he could not convert to his world view. Considering the power of Naval Captains, he destroyed more than a few. I learned a lot about writing there.

Fed up with military life, I resigned my commission and decided to have a go at practicing psychiatry in civilian life. Folloing residency training I practiced that art of artificial worlds created with words, worlds created with smoke and mirrors (more about that later), for about nine years before leaving psychiatry and medicine. I never looked back. To say that I learned many things about writing during this period would certainly be true, but I also learned things about what it means to be human that go so deep that they are still emerging many years later.

Truly at loose ends, and true to form, I decided to pursue learning a trade and set about teaching myself how to bake bread. That was a REAL transition, and, looking back, still has me shaking my head. Still, founding a wholesale bread company, I worked my butt off to build up a company that eventually served three counties. Thirteen years later, utterly exhausted physically, and psycholigically on my last legs, it became clear that my only option was to shut it down and walk away. And so I did. Without doubt I learned just an awful lot about writing during those thirteen years of incredible physical labor as I fought a rear-guard action that could end in only one way.

Shutting the company down and walking away with nothing to show for those thirteen years except an old 386 IBM computer and financial ruin, I decided, finally, that enough was enough.

Good place to stop for now. Be back shortly.

DBM